Major League Baseball has decided to incorporate a new policy permitting the use of Cocaine in certain game situations. Building on the precedent setting efforts of Texas Rangers Manager Ron Washington, Major League Baseball has decided to allow managers to use Cocaine in certain game situations. Washington indicated, that his success and ability to, “really focus man” has never been better then when he was buzzing. “It made all my decision making so much easier.” “I came to realize that when the game is on the line and the pressure is building, a quick snort can go a long way in bringing things in to perspective.” As a result of his groundbreaking work, Washington has become the rallying point for other managers seeking. to find a deeper meaning in the game. “It’s Nirvana for the managers,” said the Ranger Skipper, “I feel like a God”
Major League Baseball has decided to invest significant money into a pilot program whereby each manager will be given the opportunity to snort once in the game. “It will be up to the manager when he chooses to use his designated snort,” said league VP of Operations, Josh Gibson. “This will definitely be a new high point for the game,” he added.