America's Newest Education Advancement

Beginning in September 2010 teachers across America will have another weapon in their arsenal to help control their classrooms.  The US Congress has approved the use of  tasers in public schools.  After a lengthy discussion and much debate a bill has passed the Senate and is expected to be sent to President Obama for his signature.  The bill allows for the US Department of Education to fund the purchase of a taser for every classroom in the country and requires the states to pay for the teacher training on their use.  It is expected that the tasers will have a minimum and moderate setting to allow use in both elementary and secondary schools.

“This is really going to help us in our daily battles with the little bastards,” said Mary Hadalam, a second grade teacher at Arnold Elementary School in Arnold, PA.  “I can’t tell you how many times in the past 27 years I could have used something like this.”  “From now on when I say recess is over, those little shits will move their asses back into the building.”   “Finally, the government passed a law that makes sense,” said Lucille Marcillo,” a seventh grade reading teacher from Kent City Schools in Ohio.  “It will help in both discipline and academics,” she added.  “Paddling has been outlawed a long time but, this is going to be better,” added Joe Bandi, a high school math teacher from New York’s Watervliet School District.

Congressman Jason Altmire from PA one of 77 co-sponsors of the Bill in the House of Representatives said that the bill has a provision that prevents parents from suing the school district or any teachers for using this new educational tool.  “It wouldn’t have made sense to approve this legislation and not add this provision, we have to make sure the public schools don’t have to worry about frivolous lawsuits while they are trying to clean up American Schools”.  “We are considering another bill which would allow the tasers to be used by parents at home as well,” he added.

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