Based on a survey ordered by NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, the National Football League has opted to change its name to the National Felons League. “This new name is designed to appeal to the clientele that most associates with our star athletes,” said Goodell. “By taking on a more meaningful moniker, we can relate more closely to the typical football fan.” “The thug, the punk, ex-con will really be comfortable with this,” added the Commissioner.
“With primary role models such as Ben Roethlisberger, Ray Lewis, Chris Henry, Santonio Holmes, O.J. Simpson, Jim Brown, Nate Newton, Michael Irvin, Mark Chmura and a host of others, we are just reaching out to all those fans who love these guys.”
Goodell also noted that, “The NFL has always been a fan friendly organization, willing to do what it takes to meet the needs and interests of our fans.” We considered other options like the National Fuck-up League but settled on our choice after deciding that inserting a profanity into the name might cause some fans to be too upset. The new name takes effect immediately.