Seeking to shore up their goalie position for the playoffs the Pittsburgh Penguins have signed Japanese Sumo Super Star Kim Lee Sung to a rookie contract. “This was a fantastic idea that came up at one of our coaches meetings,” says GM Ray Shero. “We were just sitting around thinking about how cool it would be to have a fat goaltender on the team,” Shero added. “Then it just came to me, why not a really really really fat guy?” “If the goal is six feet wide, why not have a goalie that is also six feet wide?” Hockey commentators are unified in noting that this move will revolutionize the game. “Hockey as we know it will change forever,” said Don Cherry. “This may be the greatest idea ever,” he said.
The Pens plan to use Sung in their upcoming series against Montreal. “Right now the biggest problem we have is finding equipment big enough to fit this guy,” said Pens equipment manager Josh Baine. “We’re probably going to have to get some gear specially made but, that shouldn’t be a problem.” It’s unclear at this time as to how the team will get Sung out to his position on the ice since he doesn’t skate. “We may have to get him in position using a crane system of some kind,” added the GM. “Whatever it takes we are going to make this happen.” Current goalie Marc-Andre Fleury could not be reached for comment.