After much pondering, President Obama has granted authority to the Joint Chiefs of Staff to establish a special unit of the Army, which will be known as , “The Gay Beret.”” Obama’s decision was prompted by the continuing confusion regarding the military’s “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell Policy.”
“There shouldn’t any confusion about the orientation of this unit,” said General James Eunich. “We don’t have any doubt that this group will be a proud representation of everything the army stands for,” he added. “These men will be fully trained in the art of slap fighting, cat fighting, advanced slapping and interior decoration,” Eunich chimed. “We expect that the men in this unit will be buff to a fault and display their agility by using top and bottom techniques of attack. The unit will use the rainbow as their the unit symbol. They ae expected to train in San Francisco and should be ready for combat by mid July.