His death at 92 is not expected to effect the ability of West Virginia Senator, Robert Byrd to cast votes in the US Senate, announced Majority Leader Harry Reid.
“We aren’t concerned about losing any close votes in the Senate, quipped Reid. “We will expect the same loyalty from Senator Byrd post mortum as he gave us prior to his death.” Here in the Obama World where black is white, high is low, big is little, we are just going to keep counting his votes as we would have expected them to be, cast when he was alive,” added the Majority Leader.
Byrd had to be awakened from his walking coma of the past 15 years to be informed of his passing. “Not much has really changed now that his death is official,” remarked fellow West Virginia Senator, Jay Rockefeller. Dealing with Bob the past few years has pretty much been like dealing with a dead man anyway,” he said. “I know West Virginians can continue to enjoy the benefits of Senator Byrd’s votes for many years to come.” Byrd has agreed to the customary funeral arrangements but, fully expects to be back voting in the next few days. Byrd was quoted as saying, “mumble, mumble, drool drool, toot toot, yawn yawn, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz” as he was given the news of his death. “He really took it in stride,” said Rockefeller.