U.S. GOVERNMENT DECIDES TO GIVE UP ON SPILL

We Give Up

After meeting with this political advisers President Barack Obama has decided to order everyone involved in the Gulf Oil Spill Disaster to give up.   In a late evening message from the White House Situation Room, Obama issued a press release indicating that the government was going to just stop trying to plug the leak in the Gulf and in his words, “go with the flow.”   After battling for over two months to cap the leak and attempt to clean up the oil,  this Presidential order will bring all work to a halt,  both by BP and the US Coast Guard.  “It’s time for everyone to just go home and forget about it,”  the President said.    “One thing about we Americans, is that we know when we’re beaten,” he added.  The order states that, “all efforts regarding the Oil Spill in the Gulf are to be halted within 48 hours.”  After ordering the halt, the President was expected to go down to the White House bowling alley to, “knock down a few pins and drink a couple of beers.”

Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal when hearing the nears was quoted as saying, “What the fuck is that moron thinking?”  He’s going to kill off the state of Louisiana and probably several others, as well.”   Jindal added that, “there is no fucking way we are going to obey this order here in Louisiana.”   He is said to have mobilized the Louisiana National Guard in preparation for war.

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