OBAMA REQUIRES NAVY SEALS TO ACCEPT QUADRIPLEGICS

Obama Greets Navy Seals

In a move to increase workplace diversity, President Obama has directed America’s most elite fighting force, the Navy Seals to accept quadriplegics as full members.  Obama has indicated that he wants this new quadriplegic unit “up and running” as soon as possible.  Assistant Director of Clandestine Naval Operations, Admiral Jonas Quimby was a bit skeptical but indicated he will carry out the President’s order and  the unit will be operational before the end of the year.  “This may be our greatest challenge ever,” said Quimby.  “We are confident we can do this because our philosophy is that Seals can do anything.”  “There is no question we must have full inclusion and diversity in every arena of American life” said the President.  “In fact, one of my goals is to have these elite forces equally represented by all segments of America.”  “I envision a five member unit to include; a token white male, a black male, a woman, a gay, and a cripple,’ added Obama.    The President went on to add that, “This is a very exciting time in America and I want our Armed Forces to be a part of it.”  When asked  how this might affect the morale of the Seals and how the new quadriplegic unit  would be trained in some of the Seals most common fighting tactics, such as, parachuting and underwater SCUBA operations, Obama shrugged and said, “My administration hasn’t completely thought this through yet but, we are going to do it anyway because it makes everyone feel really really good.”  This type of planning  has worked magnificently with our Economy, Jobs,  Bailouts and all of our other great successes,” he said.  “But,we need to put this entire plan in operation before we can see if it works.”   In short remarks after the conference the President indicated the next thing he plans to do is work on  developing a unit of blind air traffic controllers.

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