BECK CAN’T MULTIPLY

Loaves and Fishes

Violence flared at the Restoring Honor Rally sponsored by Radio Host Glenn Beck on Saturday because the crowd apparently believed  Beck was going to turn the seven loaves and fishes he had with him on stage,  into enough to feed all 500,000 in attendance.  A number of small skirmishes broke out around the Mall and Reflecting Pool as Beck announced he was unable to perform the expected miracle.  “There was a lot of pushing and shoving that started when Glenn held the basket up for nearly 20 minutes and kept mumbling something, and nothing happened,” said faithful follower Jack Lee of Beckley, West Virginia.  “We left home about two in the morning to get here to get a great spot and we just figured Glenn was going to feed us,” he added.   “As more  and more people in the crowd realized that the food items in the basket were not multiplying, it went downhill from there,” said Holly Mathers.   “We really thought he was going to pull it off but, he just couldn’t muster up the magic.”

When Beck realized things weren’t going as planned he began to look for ways to calm the throng.  First, he brought a large pinata of Nancy Pelosi and invited members of the crowd to come up on stage to swing at it but, even that didn’t work.  Beck then asked his associates to toss WWJD  t-shirts into the crowd and even turned on a Karaoke machine and had his associates begin singing but, to no avail.

Finally, Beck was able to restore order when he promised everyone in attendance a coupon for a free fish sandwich at Long John Silvers.

In leaving the gathering,  Rick Answell of Lexington KY, commented, “I hope these coupons are honored, when I get back home.”

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s