TSA AUTHORIZED TO EXECUTE UNRULY PASSENGERS

Scanning Grandpa's Shoes

In a sweeping endorsement of the methods used by the TSA at America’s Airports, the President and his administration have authorized the TSA’s use of deadly force in dealing with unruly passengers.   Eric Holder, President Obama’s Attorney General announced the measures today at a news conference in Washington D.C.  “We will not allow nor tolerate any misbehavior at our airports at this time or in the future.” he said.  “If necessary, the TSA has been authorized to put down any passengers refusing to submit to full body scans or invasive manual body pat downs.”   Holder went on to say, “In order to maintain the nation’s safety,  it is imperative that our airport security has the absolute power necessary to use whatever means are appropriate, to quell any dissent at said airports.”  ” We will not permit American’s using excuses such as a severe handicap, age,  or  hiding behind The Constitution to avoid following protocol.”    Holder added, “however, to show some compassion our airport security agents have been advised to issue warnings to people before we off them, two for Democrats and one for Republicans.”

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