NHL: ARMED AND DANGEROUS

Hockey's Newest Enforcer

The National Hockey League has agreed to a rule change that will allow players to carry guns on the ice.   NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman said, “We need to be able to resolve some issues in our games while keeping up the interest of our fan base.”  “I think this will allow the guys to settle some of the disagreements we’ve seen lately while maintaining  the integrity of the Hockey Code.”  Bettman said he has alerted the minor league teams to be ready to send players up more quickly than usual.  “It may create some manpower issues for some of our teams but, the reward will be in the interest we think it will generate with our season ticket holders.”  The rule won’t take effect until March 10th to allow teams to install bullet-proof glass at all their venues to protect the fans.   Bettman added, “we may have to allow a few more minutes in between periods to allow the Zamboni’s to clean up the blood but, other than that the fans won’t notice any other disruptions.”

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