Make Us Number One or ELSE!

Vincent Gray, Mayor of Washington DC has issued a formal complaint with Morgan Quitno Press over his city’s ranking as America’s 2nd most dangerous city.  “We have worked long and hard, as have previous democratic administrations, to keep this city in first place in this most prestigious category,” stated the mayor. 

“We are proud of the many achievements of our city over the last 50 years, said Gray.  “We have held the title of Murder Capital a number of times over this period and have been number one on this list in the past as well.”

“Our goal is to win this distinction every year and to represent the population of this fine community proudly,” said Mr. Gray.  “We are asking Quitno Press to reconsider its position, take a recount or double-check the statistics one more time, he said.   “In our book,  the D.C. in Washington D.C. will always  stand for “Dangerous City!”

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