RURAL POSTMASTER: I DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW WE ARE LOSING MONEY

Head of America's Only Profitable Post Office

Sam Drucker can’t figure out how the Post Office is losing so much money.   Drucker a longtime Postmaster/Carrier in rural Hooterville, is having a tough time understanding the losses incurred by his employer, the U.S. Postal Service.  “I just don’t get it,”  Drucker stated, “I’ve been doing this for 50 years and been turning a profit the whole time.”  “Running a Post Office ain’t no big deal,”  he added,  “you just got to keep a balance between your overhead, the amount of mail you handle, and find some other creative ways to turn a profit.”  Drucker’ and his Post Office also serve as a General Store, Bank, Newspaper Headquarters, Office of the Superintendent of Schools, Constable’s Office and office of the Justice of the Peace.

“Drucker’s model is being closely observed by the United States Postal Service,” announced Postmaster General Patrick Donahoe.  “We are open to the idea that he may be doing it all right and we are the ones that got it all wrong,” he added.  “We are bleeding $8 Billion Dollars a year and this guy is making a profit.”  “We have to be willing to learn.”

When asked about his formula for success, Drucker modestly replied, “Lots of hard work and figuring out a way to keep your overhead costs down.”    “You got to be willing to wear a lot of different hats.” 

Drucker is quick to share credit with the community.  “We have a great relationship with the Cannonball and it’s crew, Floyd Smoot and Charley Pratt,” he added.  “They pick up the mail in Pixley and bring it in regular as clockwork.” 

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