IOWA STRAW POLE DANCER INJURED WHEN POLE COLLAPSES

Falling in the Poles

Linda “Hot Legs” Halpern was injured when the straw pole she was using in her dance routine collapsed, throwing her off the stage and into the crowd at the Iowa Fairgrounds.  Halpern was in the middle of her performance when the pole gave way.  Witnesses indicated that shortly after she mounted the pole and began to writhe up and down doing her “imitation of coitus” routine, a noticeable bow was visible near the ceiling at the point where the pole was attached.  Fair goer and strip tease aficionado Harlan Stuart was startled to see the nude body flying toward his table, as he sat in the audience enjoying the performance.  “I come every year and never seen nothing like this before,” he said.    “I came to see Sarah Palin  and the animals and to enjoy the show but, I never expected to get a face full of flying ass,” he exclaimed!  

Event organizer Sarah McClain when approached for a comment on the incident was quoted as saying, “This is the first time we used actual straw poles and it will most likely be the last.”  “I can tell you that this is the first such incident we ever had like this and thank god it happened AFTER the voting took place.”  Halpern was taken to a local hospital and no update was available on her condition.  In a side note, early reports indicate that that winner of the vote was Michelle Bachmann, who was not in the area when the dancing accident occurred. 

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