MARVEL UNIVERSE DUMPS DON’T ASK DON’T TELL

Will The New Policy Work

Following the lead of the U.S. military, characters in the Marvel Universe have dumped the controversial, “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell,” policy that has been in existence since the creation of the universe in 1961.   “After careful consideration, we have decided to allow our characters to come clean if they so choose,” said Marvel creator, Stan Lee.  “It’s the times we live in,” he added.  “It will take a great deal of pressure off some of our biggest heroes, once they open up about their true orientation.   “Like the new military policy the Marvel characters will no longer be forced to hide their sexual preference, thus making them more relaxed and hopefully, more useful in defending the Earth from destruction.,” said former editor-in-chief, Joseph Stroff.  

Shortly after the new regulations went into effect Peter Parker, AKA Spiderman and Ben Grimm, AKA, The Thing made a joint announcement professing their undying love for each other.   Several other characters are expected to make announcements within the next several days.   It is widely hoped that with the pressure off regarding sexual preference, that the superheroes will be able to focus more on saving the planet. 

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