VIOLENT CRIME INCREASES 53% SINCE NBA LOCKOUT BEGAN

Pretty Tough to Dribble Here

Recent government statistics show a dramatic rise in the crime rate of every city which has an  NBA Teams.  “We don’t know yet if this is a coincidence, or if there is a connection,” said LA Police Spokesman,  Thomas Sanders.    “What we do know is that crimes such as robbery, rape, murder and drug possession have increased dramatically in every NBA city, since the Lock-Out began. ”  Philadelphia police spokesman, Vincent Deluca said, “Were are not positive yet but, it appears that it is a combination of bored fans, who have nothing to do, and the fact that so many unemployed players are now on the streets.”

NBA Commissioner, David Stern is concerned that if and when a new collective bargaining agreement is reached, teams will find many of their players in the pokey instead of on the court.  “We need to be sure our players aren’t doing time when the season begins,” he added.   “We have known for quite a while that many of these guys would be in prison if it wasn’t for playing hoops,’ said Stern.    However, Phoenix Prison Warden Stanley Aldridge has a different take.  “This is really great news for our prison basketball team.”    “We should have a pretty good shot at winning the Arizona Prison League Championship this year.”

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