POST OFFICE TO RAISE STAMP PRICE TO $44.00

 

$44.00

In an effort to bail out America’s mail system, which has already lost $5.1 Billion Dollars this year, the Obama Administration and Congress have agreed to allow the U.S. Postal Service to increase the cost of a First Class stamp to $44.00
“These one or two cent yearly increases just aren’t working,” said Postmaster General Patrick Donahoe. “We can never expect the system to survive with such ridiculously low postage fees,” he added. “Finally, this is the kind of increase that will help us get our heads above water once again.” The new fees go into effect on December 1st. A book of 20 First Class stamps will now cost $880. According to Donahoe, customers will be able to use charge cards at the postal window or they may opt to pay in cash. Local residents were quick to comment on the drastic price increases. “I understand the need for an increase,” said Harvey Dennison, a resident of Pasadena California, “but this may be a bit over the top.” Shaniqua Walters of Madison WIsconson was quick to point out the dramatic effects the price increases will have on her family. “There ain’t know way I will be able to ever mail anything again” Ain’t nobody from my hood be liken this one damn bit.” President Obama is set to enforce the new prices as necessary.

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