U.S. GOVERNMENT FINALLY ADMITS: THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN LIFE IS SPORTS

This is Life

The U.S. Government has finally come clean and admitted what most folks already knew, that is, sports are more important than anything else.  “We like to pretend we care about things like the economy, hunger, homelessness and crime and family, but the truth of the matter is, all of that is BS,” said John Crandell, head of the Department of State’s Domestic Affairs Division.  “It’s just a bunch of crap that we keep pretending we care about some of those issues,” he added.  “Once and for all we need to admit that the thing that matters most to Americans, is sports.”  “We really don’t give a shit that kids are going to bed hungry or seniors are eating dog food.”  What’s really and truly important is how the Packers or Eagles are playing and how well we are doing in our Fantasy League, he added.  “Those soldiers fighting in Asia have to take a backseat when the Steelers or Ravens are playing.” 

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