To the Victor Go the Spoils

In an effort to settle their ever-increasing disagreements, and personal hatred for one another, and to help settle the Republican nomination for the upcoming election, Republican Presidential Candidates Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney have agreed to meet in Weehawken, New Jersey on July 11th, 2012, the famous duel‘s 212th anniversary, to have a duel of their own. 

The two candidates have agreed to use pistols similar to the ones used by Hamilton and Burr and to follow the rules in effect in the 1804 duel.  The goal according to the candidates will be to whittle the field to one in order to make the candidate selection process easier.  Ron Paul has agreed to referee the duel. 

“You have to admire the dedication of these two men,” said Thomas Lawson, a Gingrich spokesman.  “Not many candidates are willing to take it to the next level, like these two,” he added. 


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