DALLAS FAMILY EMERGES FROM WITNESS PROTECTION

Back into the Light

The Ewing Family, long believed dead, have recently resurfaced from the protective custody of the U.S. Marshall‘s Witness Protection Program.  The family members went into hiding back in 1991 after several unsuccessful attempts to murder them.  The family patriarch, J.R. Ewing, despite being shot many years ago, was the first to speak to the press about their decision to come out of hiding.  Ewing told a reporter from the Dallas Times Herald, “We’ve been hiding for a long time on the advice of the Marshall Service and we just got tired of being on the run.”  “Besides, all of our bitter enemies have died off and we figured it wouldn’t ever be safer than it is now,” he added.  J. R.’s brother Bobby, himself also shot at one point, said that he is glad they are finally free and able to go back to Southfork.  “That ranch is home to all of us.”  “That’s where we belong and that’s where I want to be,” he commented.    “The only regret I have is that mom and dad didn’t live to see this day,” he added.   Apparently, Jock Ewing and his wife Ellie passed away while in hiding,several years ago.  Ewing’s vivacious niece, Lucy, looking quite fit and trim, was also at the press conference and added her feelings about the family’s new-found freedom.  “It’s really a big relief to come out of hiding after so many years.”  “I just couldn’t take living in that small town in Idaho any longer.”  “I was nearly at wit’s end.”   “Besides, some of the locals were beginning to get wise to the fact that we weren’t Amish from Pennsylvania,” she added.  “That ruse was getting pretty old.”  It appears the family were living under the pseudonyms, Larry Hagman, Patrick Duffy and Charlene Tilton  while in hiding.

The Ewings are expected to retake ownership of the Southfork Ranch in the very near future and plan on moving back in as soon as possible. 

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