REPUBLICAN CONVENTION DELEGATES STONE MAN WHO SELECTED TAMPA

Taking Care of Business

Reports out of Tampa say that a group of Republican Delegates stoned one of their own.  According to sources, the man who headed the committee that selected Tampa, Florida as the 2012 Republican Convention Site, James Van Horne, was surrounded by about 25 delegates as he attempted to enter the  convention site.  Reports state that the mob began to throw stones at him, hitting him numerous times before police intervened.   Apparently, the delegates were angered by Van Horne’s choice of Tampa during hurricane season as the site for the Republican National Convention.  As hurricane Isaac bears downs on the convention, many delegates are angry for what they perceive as an idiotic site for their meeting.  “What kind of fool would select this city during hurricane season to hold a presidential nominating convention,” said delegate Marcus Quimby?   “I’m not for this kind of violence but, this guy has to be a moron,” he added.   Delegate Mary Hartmann summed up her feelings by saying that she too believed the choice to be foolish.  “I don’t know who signed off on this but, if I were in charge, I’d smack this guy down in some way.”   “For that matter anyone who approved of this should be tarred and feathered,” she added. 

Police sources state that Van Horne received about 45 stitches for cuts he received during the attack.

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