Upon admitting his affair with a woman writing his biography, CIA Director , General David Petraeus was demoted to Private First Class by President Obama yesterday. Petraeus will be reassigned to Fort Dix and work in the supplies department on base. In order to regain his pension, Petraeus will have to put in a fresh 20 years. Apparently, the demotion caught the general by surprise. Sources close to the situation have indicated that a distraught Petraeus was overheard mumbling about “the value of a piece of ass.”
The CIA had no comment on the story but, former President Bill Clinton issued a denial just in case.