LANCE ARMSTRONG SHOCKS OPRAH: CONFESSES DEEP UNDYING LOVE

ImageIn a move that caught the host by surprise, Lance Armstrong, who was expected to discuss his use of performance enhancing drugs, instead used the opportunity on the OWN network, to express his love for the pudgy TV mogul.  “I’ve always loved you,” said Armstrong.  “I came here to ask for your hand in marriage,”  he added.   “I thought about you all the time I was racing,” he said.  “In fact my motivation strategy was to visualize you being there, waiting for me at the end of my race,” said the cyclist.   “It wasn’t drugs that drove me, it was you,” he stated.  “I just thought that you and I could get a bicycle built for two and ride off into the sunset,” said Armstrong.

Armstrong’s revelation appeared to catch everyone off guard,including the host.  “i don’t now what to say,” Oprah muttered.  “I’m not sure Stedman will be OK with this.” she lamented.  “Just in case, do those bicycles come with extra-large seats,”  said the host?

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