Very Tight End Killing for a Chance to Play on Expansion Team
Look for the NFL to be expanding by at least one team in the next couple of years. Though it’s being keep under wraps at the moment, evidence is mounting that the National Football League is planning an expansion in the very near future. Word has leaked out that after seeing its 28th player arrested since the Super Bowl following the arrest of Indianapolis Colts Safety Joe Lefeged, the NFL is well on its way of fielding a full roster of players by years end. The new team is expected to be playing by the beginning of the 2014 season and will be known as the San Quentin Prisoners. As of now the team colors will be black and white and the uniforms will be in a striped pattern with a ball and chain logo.
Commissioner Roger Goodell was not happy to have the news leaked out this early but, when questioned about the new team, he did not dispute the leaked story. Reports indicate that the team is looking to sign O.J. Simpson as the head coach, along with Art Schlichter as a top assistant. It is expected that the team will be playing all 16 games at home and feature the first all male cheerleaders in NFL history.
WELL THAT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING!
Protest under way
The Bigalow Brothers, Jesse, Dwayne, Rodney and Jimmy are refusing to shave until Congress makes progress fixing some of the many problems the country faces. The four men began their protest at the beginning of May after noticing that the US Congress was a bunch of arrogant, stupid assholes that didn’t accomplish much worth while. The boys decided that the best way to make a difference was to initiate a protest to let their fellow citizens and the members of Congress know they were fed up with the lack of progress by that body.
“Jesse came up with the idea,” said Dwayne. “He suggested we just quit shaving until there is some positive progress in Washington, he added. “If you ask me, I think were gonna be sorry when it’s all said and done.”
The Bigalow’s are looking for sponsors to support their protests
Guilty? Verdict In Before Trial
George Zimmerman the accused killer of Travon Martin, will plead his case in front of an all black jury according to reports out of Florida. Trial judge Deshawne Jackson indicated he will be moving the trial to the heavily black Union County, despite the protests of Zimmerman’s defense team. “This is an outright disregard for the fair due process of law,” said Zimmerman attorney, Marc O’Mara. “There is no way George can get a fair trial, if this is allowed to stand,” he added.
Meanwhile, attorneys for the Martin family were elated with the latest court decision. “We are happy to hear that the case is being moved to an area of the state that is representative of Trayvon and his family,” said Sheniqua Jefferson, a spokesperson for the Martin Family. “We know this strategy worked for OJ and his is the Holy Grail of cases like this,” she added. “There is no reason to think a jury made up of a couple angry black women, gang-bangers, deadbeat dads, pro basketball players and homeless folks, can’t come to a fair conclusion,” she stated.
In a related note, and an unusual coincidence, Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson have volunteered for jury service in Union County.