In a devastating development at The North Pole, it appears that reports of the death of Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer are true. This afternoon Santa Claus issued a brief statement detailing the sad news.
“We here at Santa’s Headquarters are extremely saddened to report that it was necessary to put down Rudolph, our beloved red-nosed reindeer this morning.” What many of you don’t know is that Rudolph was battling cancer over these many years and that his red nose was really not a light, as we depicted.” “Unfortunately, his nose was red because of an aggressive form of carcinoma, which lodged in his nasal passages and manifested itself in the form of the bulbous red nose that you all saw.” Santa continued, “It was Rudolph’s decision to keep this condition quiet, so as not to upset his millions of faithful fans and the children who loved him so.” “Sadly, in the last few months this condition worsened to the point that Rudolph had great difficulty breathing and over the past few weeks, had become entirely bedridden.” “It was after careful consideration of his wishes and on the advice of North Pole doctors, Mrs. Claus and I made the decision to withdraw life support and immediately afterward, have Rudolph put down.”
It was not known which reindeer would be elevated to the position of sleigh leader that Rudolph held for so many years. What is known is that Santa will be in need of a at least one replacement reindeer. Top candidates include, Speedball, Mushroom, Slayer and Bob.