The FBI has indicated that the recent terror attacks in Paris and San Bernadino may be traced back as far as Allah himself. According to sources in the agency, recently uncovered evidence shows the events were directly liked back to Paradise. If this proves to be true, it will be the most damning evidence yet, against the “religion of peace” and it’s founder.
The source tells Satire 24/7 News that agents were able to infiltrate the inner circle of The Prophet himself, and used planted listening devices to eavesdrop on sensitive meetings, directed by the Muslim God. Sources are saying that the damning recordings, will “prove beyond a shadow of a doubt” that Allah himself Masterminded these two deadly attacks.
FBI Special Agent Jesus Christy spoke to local reporters yesterday and indicated that the agency, “will follow all leads no matter where they take us.” Christe also asked for the public’s help in providing any information they believe might help the investigation. “We need the people to be vigilant and keep their eyes and ears open,” he said. “Something that seems insignificant could lead to a breakthrough.”