1296258919_dragones-tattoos-28An Englewood, California co-ed, Sally Mander was shocked to find out that a tattoo of a dragon she paid $300 for washed off, after she jumped into the family swimming pool.  Mander said she paid tattoo artist Victor Bloomquist the money with the understanding the tattoo was permanent.  Much to her shock and dismay, the teen came to find that the ink was water soluble and she had been duped by Bloomquist.   Mander reported the fraud to local authorities who picked up the artist for further questioning.  Mander told police she went to Bloomquist’s office where they agreed on a price for what she believed to be a permanent tattoo of a dragon to be inked on her back.   According to her testimony to police Bloomquist worked on the picture for nearly five hours, after which she paid him $300 in cash and left.  She stated that a few hours later when she arrived at home, she decided to take a dip in her family’s swimming pool and shortly after she exited, she realize the dragon had washed off.  According to her story, she returned to Bloomquist’s office to question him, at which point he refused to discuss the tattoo with her.  It is at this time she went to the police station to report the incident   Bloomquist had no comment and refused numerous opportunities to tell his side of the story.


Let Me Dance or You Die!

Let Me Dance or You Die!

North Korean leader Kim Jong Un seems hell bent on starting World War III, with his recent actions on the Korean Peninsula.  Apparently, Kim is angry over the American refusal to allow him to try out for the next round of Dancing With The Stars.   Sources in the Korean nation have indicated that Jong-Un has been practicing a great deal for the opportunity to perform on the American TV Show.  “We were not aware of the Dear Leader’s interest in performing on our show, said ABC Exec, Douglas MacArthur.”  “Regardless of that, we have rules and standards that are applied equally to all people interested in appearing on the show.”  Mr. Un did not meet these requirement and, as a result, was not invited back to the second audition, he added.” 

A North Korean spokesman said that Mr Jong-Un  had been watching American Films such as, Fame, Dirty Dancing, Singing In The Rain  and numerous others and was distressed over his treatment on the dance show and indicated that the leader was willing to, “Let my nukes do the talking.” 


vbAfter 52 years in prison for a shooting he didn’t commit, Gene Pitney, was released from prison,.  DNA tests run on evidence collected from the crime scene proved that Pitney could not have been the one who fired that fateful shot in 1962 that took the life of the American West’s biggest heroes.  Pitney was convicted in 1962 based on circumstantial evidence and a statement by a supposed witness.  During the trial Pitney’s defense argued the witness, Lee Marvin, was too intoxicated to accurately identify the shooter. 

Pitney has maintained his innocence over the past five decades and through numerous appeal requests.  When asked by reporters what he planned to do now that he was a free man, the 80 year old Pitney announced to return to Shinbone and pick up his life where he left off.  


Attention Whore Rule

Attention Whore’s Rule

Upon receiving a petition with well over 100,000 signatures, President Obama has decided to follow though and ordered the deportation of Justin Bieber to North Korea. 

The North Koreans have agreed to accept the embattled teen star mainly because Kim Jung-Un is a big fan of Beiber’s music.   The North Koreans have indicated that Bieber will be given an apartment in the nation’s capital of Pyongyang.  According to reports by the North Korean News Agency, he will be required to perform for Kim Jong-un on a monthly basis.

Additional reports indicate the deal was brokered by former NBA Superstar, Dennis Rodman.  Rodman recently visited the communist country in what was believed to be a purely social call on Jong-un.   American news agencies were shocked to find out that Rodman’s primary mission was to negotiate the turn over of Bieber to the North Koreans. 


America's Newest Heroes

America’s Newest Heroes

In an apparent agreement with the U.S. Government and with the blessing of President Obama, Syria has agreed to sell its’ entire stockpile of chemical weapons to The Gold and Silver Pawn Shop of Las Vegas,  and it’s owners the Harrison Family.  It seems that secret negotiations have been under way for several days between representatives of the Assad Government and the Pawn Store owners, Rick Harrison and his father, known as “the Old Man'” to bring about an end to the crisis in the Middle East. 

Sources indicate that the Harrisons offered their services to the Obama Administration in the wake of the impending U.S. attack on Syria’s Chemical Weapons Stockpiles.   A representative of the Harrison Family,  one Chumlee Russell told reporters that he and the Harrisons had been discussing the situation and the idea was struck to offer their services as intermediaries,  to help end the conflict. 

Russell was sent to meet with the Syrian President yesterday with the goal of trying to make a deal on the purchase of the weapons and according to all reports, he was successful.   President Assad offered the weapons, with an asking price of one hundred million dollars but, through difficult negotiations, the Harrisons were able to shake hands on  the deal at $1,500 dollars. 

The Syrians were given five days to bring the weapons to the pawn shop and take them around to the back door, so they could be logged into the warehouse.

President Obama was deeply grateful to the family for their efforts and even signed a few pieces, for display in the store.  Right now there has been no announcement as to what the Harrisons will be doing with the weapons but, many believe they have a collector ready to purchase them at a price that will make them a large profit.