JETHRO BODINE VS JED CLAMPETT VS CASEY ANTHONY VS JODIE ARIAS

Trending Now

Trending Now

Versus Michelle Obama versus Prince George versus The Fridge Perry versus  Mila Kunis for the most hits championship of the world.  Satire webmaster seeks to find out if name-dropping will bring more hits to his blog known as It’s All Satire 24/7.  He may be wondering out loud if dropping a bunch of names that are trending on Yahoo will actually drum up some visits to his site.  It this works please leave a comment or two to show you have stopped by. 

POPE BENEDICT TO APPEAR ON DANCING WITH THE STARS

ImageWord from the Vatican is that Pope Benedict plans on appearing on the Italian version of Dancing With The Stars shortly after leaving the Papacy at the end of February.  According to the show’s producer, Guisuieppe Valdronus,  “Our understanding is that the pope wants to do this pretty quickly while he stills has some mobility and agility left.”   “We are so happy to have Benedict in our line-up this season, it should be pretty awesome.”  

Along with Benedict, others signed up to dance this year include:  millionaire’s nephew, Jethro Bodine, reality star, Kim Kardashian, Italian Heavyweight Champ, Girabaldi Spenazzo, TV Icon, Martha Stewart, Italian Racecar Driver, Antinio DelGrosso, fugitivted to sign three more celebrities before taping begins on March 22nd. 

JETHRO BODINE SURPRISE SPEAKER AT DNC

DNC Economics Speaker

Evidently, the Democratic Party has decided to bring in a big name, high level math wiz to deal with the topic of the economy.  Reports indicate that they have turned to Jethro Bodine, sixth grade graduate and a renowned Economic Czar from Beverly Hills.  Bodine is well known for his advanced skills in mathematics and for his unique grasp of Economics.  He is scheduled to speak at the convention on Thursday.  “This is really a home run for us,” said DNC spokesman Lester Motely.  “We couldn’t have  asked for a more insightful and down to Earth speaker to lay out our philosophy and goals, than Mr. Bodine,” he added.  Naturally, we wanted someone smarter than most of the American people but, we wanted someone who could lay things out in a way most of them could understand.”   “Once he lays it out so clearly and simply, we expect a great response from the American people.” 

Bodine grew up in the Hills of The Ozarks and later moved to Beverly Hills California with his uncle Jed, when Jed struck oil on his property.  Bodine’s long list of accomplishments include: working as a millwright, brain surgeon, spy, and a Hollywood producer.  Jan Maysone, a Democratic delegate had a hard time containing her excitement at the prospect of hearing Bodine speak.  “He has always been a hero of mine,’ she chimed.  “Finally, we are going to get an intelligent, intellectual lesson in our party’s view of how the economy will work.”   Bodine’s technique is known to be a unique combination of “cypherin” and the “go-zin-ta” method of Economics.   Bodine graduated at the top of his class at Oxford (in the Ozarks).  

JETHRO BODINE NAMED NEW EDUCATION CZAR

New Czar Pushes Cypherin

In a stunning move designed to improve America’s failing public education system, President Obama is set to appoint Jethro Bodine of Beverly Hills, his new czar of education.  In this position Bodine will report directly to the President regarding all things educationally related.  Reports say he has been instructed by the President to, “fix dat der education system right quick.”   Bodine comes to the new position vastly qualified according to his Uncle, millionaire Jed Clampett.  “Why Jethro done got hisself a mighty high degree of book learnin,” stated Mr. Clampett.  “He’s got hisself a degree from the sixth grade,” Clampett added proudly.

Bodine is expected to start his new job as soon as he recovers from a broken arm supposedly inflicted when he was rasslin his cousin Elle May down by the ceement pond.  Mr. Bodine when asked to comment replied, “dang nabbit, I woulda done started this here new job if it wasn’t for Elle foolin around.”  Bodine says he would be willing to listen to ideas from citizens who could reach him by phone at;  six-naught-five-three-three-five-naught-naught-two-six.